heartbreakingly beautiful

thought for the day

2011-01-18T07:53:00.000-08:00

It's not the critic who counts, not the one who points out how the strong woman stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the woman who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends herself in a worthy cause; who, at best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who, at worst, if she fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that her place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.

Teddy Roosevelt

Friday Joy

2010-12-03T08:09:00.001-08:00

Loving the internet today. Too many good things.

My face hurts from smiling after watching this. Such joy!!

How about a few magical poems?

And some cello music?

In other news, I have a December devotion I am calling "Gifts & Gratitude: an experiment in beautiful living." This mostly entails plenty of meditation, yoga, beautiful thoughts, and all things delicious that feel luxurious and wonderful. It's an experiment to see how far I can go in being kind and sweet to myself--this human being Kathleen--and also what will happen if I really commit, in the most loving & beautiful way, to choosing beautiful thoughts and delicious actions. It is an experiment of love, borne of the infinite love I have been lucky to experience many times in my life.

The big question I think is this:
How much, really, can I love on myself?
As a child of the universe, loved infinitely by the universe, how far can I go in giving myself the gift of softness, warmth, peace, space and light?
And what will happen when I do?

I mean to write more about it soon, so that anyone can decide to do his or her own version and join in. But, of course, I haven't gotten to that yet as I've been enjoying moving slowly and savoring the moments!

Whether I do or do not write more about it, I invite you to celebrate your own version of this experiment and dedicate December to yourself in whatever way feels right, and then, keep me posted on how it's going if you want!

shameless self promotion

2010-09-30T22:37:00.001-07:00

I've been working on making this look and sound pretty lately...

Live at the Sidewalk Cafe
Kathleen Smith

Download Share

There are 7 tracks up right now, and 2 on the way.
xxo

Listening to Now...

2010-08-31T11:40:00.000-07:00

This album.
Soooo good.
Especially the title track. I love me some big strings sections.

Muir Woods

2010-08-26T07:52:00.000-07:00

hi again

2010-08-25T14:11:00.000-07:00

After over a year of being gone from this space, I'm ready to come back.

Let's save the big explanations for later--I want to talk about Laure. Well, actually I want to look at her work. She's awesome.

See what I mean?

I want this one up in my living room.

Her blog At Home At Home is simple and beautiful.

here's more...

I'm thinking the coming months may bring a focus shift here on HB, but let's see what happens!

read this book & then go forth & make art

2009-05-21T11:11:00.000-07:00

(bahamas 2009. really has nothing to do with this topic except it's pretty!!)

Wanna write a novel? Sing a song? Go to China? Finding it difficult to start? Well, check out this book, The War of Art by Stephen Pressfield.

It landed on my doorstep last night, a gift from above and beyond (actually, if we're being totally honest here--which we are--it was a gift to me from me, thanks to the jamazon that is amazon). As someone who has wrestled and fought and tortured myself for ye-ears about the calling I feel from my heart and its concomitant deathly terror, I can say that this book is manna from heaven, no joke.

The link above has the first few chapters below all the blurby stuff.

Do yourself a big, $10 favor, and buy the book. Fight the good fight, and then go forth and make some art. As Mr. Pressfield says, “Sit down and do it and don't quit no matter what.”

xo
hb

**Also, another book I love for lovely little reminders is Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg. Both of these talk specifically about writing, but just substitute whatever your deal is (golfing, painting, baking 2 foot tall zombie cakes, etc.), and it’s all the same.

Validation!

2009-03-26T18:38:00.001-07:00

fun links

2009-02-20T10:30:00.000-08:00

Rob Ryan

(some of this is old news, but it's still happy & inspiring!)

-Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love) lectures on creativity and artistic genius

-After his trainer entered him into the competition on a lark, Stump, a 10 year old Sussex Spaniel, wins Best in Show at Westminster, as the oldest dog to do so, and after almost dying five years before!! Slideshow here.

-Always get back up!

-Okay, to balance out the pure mushery of the previous links, how about some silly things!

Paper cut-outs (yes, I said, PAPER CUT-OUTS (can you even believe that????)) by the amazing Rob Ryan.

Wild horses just might drag me away

2009-02-09T16:31:00.000-08:00

yes, these are real wild horses, in their real wild horse territory in nevada!

Recipe for an overwhelming sense of peace, joy, and wonder, mixed in with a little bit of puzzlement as to why you live in a big city where it's smoggy and loud and crowded with concrete and glass and asphalt (when it would be so quiet (and possibly Wild Horse-ful) elsewhere...!):

-Dad's F350 to drive you anywhere

-lots of coffee-miles and miles of road to take you to the Middle Of Nowhere up in Nevada (which is really Not the Middle of Nowhere because it's actually Somewhere Really Special. I mean, really, how often do you see Wild Horses???)

-binoculars
-camera

-boots for stomping through the snow
-wild mules

-wild horses
-sunset
-your city sweetie who has never driven around the middle of nowhere in his life
-sandwiches made by Dad with turkey and pot roast left over from Christmas

Combine with a healthy sense of adventure, and enjoy!

You will probably be a few hours later than expected because you will probably go farther than originally planned, and you will probably stop a lot more than you thought. In fact, you might even stop to shoot cans with the .22 (something you haven't done since childhood), stop again to explore a cave, stop again to track wild horses (!), stop again for an ice cream sandwich even though it's 40 degrees outside, and stop again to admire the ceiling of the sky filled with stars when your day is over and you're finally headed back.
You might.

And you might feel pretty lucky that your dad knows everything about your home state and can do stuff like take you out to the middle of nowhere to see real Wild Horses. Yes, you are pretty lucky indeed.

Thanks, Dad.

okay, it's hard to tell from here, but, I think if you click & see the larger image, you'll see that those teeny weeny dots over on the right are horses! Also, this is pretty much exactly what it looked like from the window of the truck. We had to use the binocs to see better!

more little dots that I swear to you are wild horses. this is the same group, just a slightly different angle.

and the same group again, but so much closer!! We hiked from the road, up that mesa you saw above, and then city sweetie took the camera & tracked the horses to get these amaaaazing photos you see now (lol!).

another photo courtesy of city sweetie.

This is what Dad & I saw before we gave the camera to the resident Wild Horse Tracker. This is a different band of horses than the pics above, because this is actually on the mesa just to the left of the one pictured above. Make sense? Basically, two bands of wild horses in one day. Ya, that's how awesome Nevada & Dad are.

wild mule!

wild mule baby & mama!

okay, seriously

2009-01-05T17:00:00.000-08:00

(This is a post written Friday, fyi.)

In regards to the natural beauty of this world, I pretty much a) always have a hard on, b) cannot get enough of it and c) love that it takes my breath away every single time I encounter it. It's my version of the hottest, most beautiful, kind, loving woman in the world (if I were a man, that is...). But it's our planet.

To semi-make up for the serious lack of posts of the last month (what can I say but "holidays, mass-layoffs at work, chocolate chip cookies "), I have a lot to post about. A. LOT. Tons of pics and fun stories. Have you ever read that poem called "Picnic, Lightning?" Well, my holiday vacation version would be "wild horses, target practice, 80's ski onesie." Uh huh. And, by the oh-so-circuitous way, I totally know that I could never REALLY make up for the zero % of posts that happened in the last six weeks. That's why I said "semi." It's okay. It's my cross to bear. I get it.

But it IS a new year, and god knows I love you guys. I have TONS of h.b. (heartbreakingly beautiful) sh*t to share. And we shall start with, as aforementioned, the Natural. Splendor. of Our. Planet. Booya. Pictures worth a thousand words, maybe?

This is on the drive down 395 (more on that later) this [Friday] morning. Sunrise as I descended from the mountains on my pilgrimage back to sunny LA from cold and beautiful Reno/ Tahoe.

Now y'all know I love me some clouds, and some sunrises, and you may have already guessed that, despite the occasional vulgarity of this blog, I am actually a hopeless mushy romantic. If I told you the number of times I cried about this beautiful world in the last 48 hours, you might lose all of the scant amount of respect you have for me. Therefore, I will not. I will only say that this holiday vacay was filled with heartbreakingly beautiful at every turn, and you know how I respond to that.

Okay, enough with the words. You want the pics. I know.

xoxox

ps thank you pb for the help with pasting. you are my current savior.
psps I know none of you understand that previous ps. It's okay.
pspsps blogger & my computer are still on the outs, but that's why we love the fact that I have a computer at work!!!

more pics to tide you over b/c blogger hates my computer right now

2009-01-04T19:25:00.000-08:00

holiday cheer

Given that Blogger and my computer, most specifically Microsoft Word, are on the outs and not so much communicating too well, and given that I wrote the newest three posts in Word and don't feel like re-typing them, you are gonna have to subsist on pictures for the time being. I heart you so and am working to cure the communication issues between these intransigent toddlers. Really.

To tide you over...

2009-01-02T16:50:00.001-08:00

dear napa,

2008-12-04T10:29:00.000-08:00

we love you and your magical hills and moss covered trees.
we wish we could visit you all the time.
we miss you.

xo,
hb

all pics borrowed from Becca!

happy thanksgiving, morsels for a long weekend

2008-11-26T07:14:00.000-08:00

Okay, so, like a lot of the people in this country, I am going on a little trip-o-rama for turkey day. Napa here I come!

Blog will be dry for a few days because it's mini-vacation, so I leave you with these morsels:

a. pic above of the rockin' room I recently stayed in at the Madonna Inn, one of my MOST FAVORITE places ever on the entire planet. It is so gaudy and delightfully tacky, it's inspiring. This room is Fabulous Fifties, and see how my pink fuzzy bag perfectly matched the pink fuzzy thing on the bed?? Totally not planned--totally fate. More on Madonna Inn joys later...

b. If you're in LA, did you see the AMAZING double rainbow this morning at 7:30??? I took a cel phone pic--maybe one day I will figure out how to get it from cell phone to 'Net, and then I can show you!

c. This might be one of the dorkiest sites ever, but the pics are just too cute sometimes!

d. How about some comic relief?

e. not to get too mushy, but, just a quick & small list of some of the many blessings I am grateful for today:
-rainbow this morning!!!
-the warmest friends and family
-um, hello, Napa!!
-having food in the fridge, a roof overhead, money in the bank, and love all around

f. in the spirit of the week of gratitude, I'm giving some moola to these peeps

have a GREAT holiday!!!!

xo,
hb

Raspberries with Melted Chocolate, and, a Perfect Night

2008-11-26T07:13:00.000-08:00

Here’s a super simple, five ingredient recipe for ya (well, four actually, since you can't really pick up "rain" at the store...). After “inventing” it last night, I wondered how I had never thought of it before, it was so simple and heavenly!!

Raspberries with Melty Chocolate, and, A Perfect Night
Rain—preferably the kind that pitter patters and occasionally races across the roof

Fresh raspberries
Dark chocolate chips or chunks (preferably 60% or darker)
Butter
Cinnamon

Stay up way past bedtime, writing songs (or painting, or dancing around your apartment, or whatever—anything fun works here) at your studio.
Revel in the fact that even have a studio!
Leave the studio and drive home in the rain (yes, it is raining!!).
Walking from the car to your house, revel in the clean feel of the air. You love the rain.
Take a big deep breath of that clean air, and maybe even stand outside under the streetlight, getting wet after midnight because the way the rain slashes through the beams of light kind of looks like heaven to you.
Go inside when you’re nice and wet, stand in front of the heater, and decide to make a snack. It is too beautiful a night to waste by going to bed right now.
Get out a 4 oz ramekin and put in more butter than you think is healthy. This is not a healthy snack—it is a tasty, past midnight, rainy evening indulgence.
Microwave for 30 seconds.
Add a handful of chocolate chips/chunks (maybe 2 oz) to the melty butter.
Nuke for another 30 seconds.
Meanwhile, wash half a clamshell worth of raspberries. Contemplate using the whole thing, and then decide not to because you want to save some for breakfast tomorrow, and you don’t want to be greedy.
Plop the clean berries in a fun bowl.
Grab the choco chips/butter mix from the microwave, and stir until your butter and chocolate is nice and creamy. Some of the chocolate might not be all the way melted at first, but with stirring, it will surrender its chip-iness to the greater good of the meltiness.
Add a generous dash of cinnamon.
Stir a little more.
Plop the melty chocolate on top of the fresh raspberries, letting it slump and flow like slow moving lava, in and around the nooks and crannies of the perfect berries.
Take one chocolatey raspberry bite, and decide to f*ck it, you want ALL the raspberries—you don’t care about saving them for the morning. You have a little heaven just waiting for them, right here in your pretty blue bowl.
Wash the rest of the raspberries, and plop them in the bowl. It’s okay if they’re still a little wet—they will make little pools of raspberry water in the chocolate. Yum!
Stir so the berries are a little bit mashed and some of their juice mixes with the chocolate meltiness.
Sit on the couch, loving the sound of the rain outside and savoring your new, super easy, “gourmet” recipe.
Because you’re home alone, you can even lick the bowl when you’re finished.

Isn’t life grand?

xo, hb

bob dylan watch out!

2008-11-25T10:05:00.000-08:00

Today is a day of appreciation of a few man folk singers who I happen to be blessed to know/ hang with/ have met...

1. Joe Pug

To say I was blown away last night by the amazing and beautiful songs Joe Pug played for us at the Hotel Cafe is to live in a world of understatement. Every once in a while, I had to peel my chin off the floor because I was so struck by the perfection of his lyrics. With only some words, a guitar and a harmonica, he digs down past the surface of life, burrowing right to the core of it. Though he is only 23 (!), his lyrics sound like a griseled eighty year old man wrote them, so rife are they with wisdom and world weariness and wonder. I have rarely heard such graceful turns of phrase as his, and his metaphors ("stubborn as a butcher"(! what does that even mean??)) are infinitely surprising and compelling.

Y'all know I love me some music, but I don't know if I've ever let on how much of a sucker for SONG* I am. This man knows how to write 'em, that's for sure. They're old school folk--they talk about politics and culture and love, and the meaning he packs into a few little lines defies comprehension. His voice is kind of gravelly, and his stage show seems to me what Bob Dylan's first shows must have been: Man, SONGS, harmonica, guitar. Obv, I urge you to check the myspace and the website, but if at all possible, pleeeeease go see him live. He's a lovely person, and his show is just simply wonderful. (And, I bet, if you go see him, that in ten years, you'll be telling your kids that you got to see him when he was just starting out, before he was a big star. Whatever je ne sais quoi people need to "make it," I am quite sure this guy's got it.)

*My two fave songs are Hymn #101 and Hymn #35. Nation of Heat (the EP) is also available on itunes!

2. Bailey
Another guitar playing, harmonica tootin' balladeer, Bailey's newest EP, "Burden the Hand," is just yummy. Simon & Garfunkel, old blues, Woody Guthrie, Alabama dirt, dried wooden beams across porches, cotton fields, crickets and creaky rocking chairs, hot coffee and snap beans. I don't think it's available for purchase yet, but if you message him, I bet he'll send ya one!

good stuff, quick list

2008-11-24T10:11:00.000-08:00

coffee with chocolate soy milk to start the day

the smell of the heater turning on after a cold night

crisp sheets

the sweet scent of morning

the way the moon is hung just so in the sky sometimes

shooting stars

giving thanks for the blessings

eARTh

xo, hb

two things...

2008-11-18T11:31:00.000-08:00

Here's an older post that never got posted. Yay archives!

**

If you have 3-4 good sips of absinthe around 1:30 am, is it possible to still be drunk/high (?) the next morning when you go to work at 9:30? This is not a trick question, but it is PURELY hypothetical. Swear.

To aid the weighing & measuring process you'll probably engage to answer this PURELY hypothetical question, I offer the following "evidence:"

1. You almost fall over doing your laundry at 8:15 am before work (yes, you were doing laundry before work...)

2. You forget to put deodorant on, even though you reminded your "roommate" aka "boyfriend" aka "schmoopybear mushmellowkins cupcake (sbmkc)" to buy some for himself because you are taking yours with you this weekend when you go to Vegas. Yes, even after all of this, you forget to put it on.

3. You leave your wallet at home. wtf.

4. When you call your "sbmkc" to ask him to please pretty please bring you your wallet, and he tells you that you have some rogue socks (he's folding laundry), you tell him that yes, they are single socks, but they don't mind--they enjoy the single life.

5. You forget about an important conference call you are supposed to do with your boss, opting to go get caesar taco salad (the best) and buy the requisite birthday card for her surprise birthday celebration later that afternoon. Upon your return to work, and dreadful realization that you forgot the call, you bring your lunch into her office with you (because, hey, you don't want to eat wilty salad in an hour!!) to catch the tail end, but when she says "please don't eat in my office" while glaring daggers at you, you turn around, trot back to your desk, and resolve to not say or do anything again for the whole day, because you are obviously a) tired enough to be semi-retarded or b) still high from absinthe you had twelve hours ago....

***

In other news, possibly the best grilled cheese sandwich in Los Angeles lives at The Foundry on Melrose.
Tallegio cheese, apricot-caper puree, arugula, blanched soaked tomatoes (omg these are AMAZING), and....da da da da (trumpet salute) Raisin. Walnut. Bread. And lots of butter. And a little pile of frisee (aka "sea coral") in the middle of the four perfect, melty quarters of sandwich.

The cheese is stinky, but oh so mild and melty. The bread is perfectly butterly browned, crispy on the outside and toasty warm and soft where it cradles the gooey cheese, apricot-caper puree, arugula and tomatoes. There's no way this written review (here's another review for ya, though) can do it justice, so you should probably just go.
They have jazz on weekend nights (including Thursday), and supposedly they also have absinthe there.
We hear.

xo, hb

2008-11-06T13:12:00.001-08:00

Despite the fact that I appear to be somewhere in my twenties, apparently, I am actually and truly a "'tween." How do I know this? Well, because, like legions of 'tweens before me, I am inordinately, unconditionally, and irrevocably in LOVE with this book. And the one after it. And the one after it. I literally read Twilight in one night, New Moon the next, and Eclipse this weekend (I'm reading the fourth, and last (sad), one now). Dishes went undone, bags went unpacked, songs waited to be written, life administration went totally neglected. I. Was. Reading. Twilight.

These books are the DEFINITION of heartbreakingly beautiful. My heart glowed. My heart broke. My heart glowed again, while breaking. This happened about a thousand times.

Apparently this book/saga series has been all the rage among the 'tweens for some time now. Yes, I am always late to the party. But how I am glad I even made it!!!!

Go. Go to the party. NOW.

You can read about the author's incredible journey here and order the books here (preferably in opposite order!). Or start asking your friends if they have a copy--probably one of them is secretly geeking out right now, reading until all hours of the night, giddy for the movie (!!!!) that comes out in less than two weeks. I know I am!

vote!! and pretty rug!! etc.

2008-11-04T10:54:00.000-08:00

It's voting day! I went this morning at 7:15, and I waited 45 minutes!! People, there really are LINES. So far, here's my tally of what my "I Voted" sticker will get me today:

free coffee at Starbucks
a free apple cobbler bar at Bergamot Cafe (the best place ever)
something free at Ben & Jerry's (this is rumor so far & not confirmed...)

yum!!

In other news, have you ever watched a big spider making a web? It is so super cool. How does she make it all perfectly geometric??

Also, I'm gonna go out on a limb and post a decor/nature (gasp!) tidbit. It would be so super fun to have a little rug in the house that looks like wild bunny prints in the snow! Can't you just imagine sitting at home on your couch, putting your nice clean feet on it? You close your eyes, and you're somewhere up in the Arctic Circle, all snuggly in your fur coat and muklucks, and in every direction, nothing but a blanket of snow and that heavenly silence. And a few wild rabbit tracks. Oh, so serene!!! LOVE it. The sad part is that it's 600 Euro, plus S & H. I guess when I'm a mazillionaire, maybe I will have this rug. A girl can dream!

LATER NOTE: Ben & Jerry's giveaway confirmed! 5-8 pm today, head on over for your FREE ICE CREAM!!!

dogs & done ran dry!

2008-10-30T13:48:00.001-07:00

I got nothin'! Nada. Niente. It seems that the creek done ran dry temporarily. Please accept this picture (doesn't it make you smile? just a little??) and this music to tide you (and me) through the dry times.

hb!

mushy mood!

2008-10-21T15:23:00.001-07:00

I'm in a mushy mood today, folks, and currently trying to memorize this Pablo Neruda poem. "Why??," you may ask--well, for campfire recitations, of course!! There is nothing more lovely than sitting around a campfire, spouting off favorite poems with friends.
And THIS poem--mmm. Slays me. Just. SLAYS. ME.

Love Sonnet 89

When I die, I want your hands on my eyes:
I want the light and wheat of your beloved hands
to pass their freshness over me once more:
I want to feel the softness that changed my destiny

I want you to live while I wait for you, asleep.
I want your ears still to hear the wind, I want
you to sniff the sea's aroma that we loved together,
to continue to walk on the sand we walk on.

I want what I love to continue to live,
and you whom I love and sang above everything else
to continue to flourish, full-flowered:

so that you can reach everything my love directs you to,
so that my shadow can travel along in your hair,
so that everything can learn the reason for my song.

translated by Stephen Tapscott

You can buy the book here. You or whomever you love will love you forever it for it. I swear.

Slice of Heaven AND How Not to Try a New Recipe for the First Time

2008-10-17T11:40:00.000-07:00

pic by Romulo Yanes, via Epicurious

After an arduous (and slightly drunk) journey in the kitchen Sunday night, my man, a good friend and I enjoyed warm lemon olive oil cake with coffee goat’s milk ice cream while watching baobab flowers bloom (Planet Earth, of course). It was truly a little slice of heaven.

Make the cake, but don't be slightly drunk. It’s kind of complicated. I’m not gonna lie.

Here's how I did it (HIGHLY NOT RECOMMENDED):

How Not To Try Out a Recipe for the First Time
By Kathleen Smith

Drink some wine. Maybe a couple of glasses, actually. (With dinner, of course!)
Print & read the recipe.
Assemble the ingredients and put them all on the counter.
Put a metal bowl in the fridge. (for the egg whites)
Pre-heat the oven.
Decide that even though you don’t have a 9” springform pan to grease & cover in parchment (which you also don’t have), you will just use an 8” round cake pan.
You are working with what you have.
Butter & flour it generously.
Zest an entire lemon & separate what you need (1 ½ t) from what you don’t.
Have more wine.
Try to remember which is the pile of lemon zest you need & which isn’t. Decide you don’t need to know that now because you will cross that bridge when you get to it.
Separate 5 eggs.
Separate another, "for another use."
Take big ass glass bowl from shelf to mix egg yolks & sugar.
Have more wine. Talk with P & B, who sound like they are having a mini party talking about their love of western movies and horses. Smile that your boyfriend and your friend are hitting it off so well. Go back to figuring out which bowl to use.
Pull the metal bowl from the fridge and plop the yolks & sugar in it—you don’t want to use that big ass glass bowl right now.
Start beating with electric beater.
You are supposed to mix ‘til “thick & pale.” What the heck is “thick & pale??” How pale is pale??
Have more wine. It will help you think.
Keep mixing with electric beater until you realize that, “sh^t!!” you need this cold metal bowl to do the egg whites! Transfer the sort of not really thick and not so much pale goo to the glass bowl. Put dirtied metal bowl in sink. Need to wash & re-refrigerate that now. Oy vey, this is a complicated recipe.
Eat a pistachio & have some wine.
Peek into the living room & talk with P & B about the spiritual experience you had watching Planet Earth last week.
Go back into the kitchen and try to remember what you’re doing.
Wash the metal bowl & put it back in the fridge.
Finish with the yolk mixture—looks good enough for government work.
Re-read recipe for twentieth time.
Add olive oil & lemon juice to yolk mixture. Mix with beaters for a few seconds until "just combined."
Re-read recipe. Have more wine.
Time to add the cake flour!
What the heck is cake flour? You don’t think you have this in your pantry….Google it and learn you can make a mix of flour & corn starch in a pinch. Do this.
Re-read recipe.
Notice you were supposed to whisk the lemon zest with flour. Contemplate which pile of lemon zest is the one you need, and which is extra. Pick one & whisk it in a little bowl with flour. Realize that the flour you used for zest has to be included in the total measurement of flour for the cake.
Have another sip of wine because holy cow, this is way too much thinking to be doing on a Sunday night after a big dinner and wine.
Re-think a second sip of wine & consider that maybe you should lay off it ‘til the cake is in the oven because it’s probably not helping the situation right now.
Add the 1c flour (lemon zested flour included) to the oily gooey mess in the glass bowl & mix with the wooden spoon.
P & B are watching Trapped in the Closet waiting for their cake. You are ready for a vacation, regretting that you decided to try out a new recipe tonight.
Re-read recipe. Think about a sip of wine & then think about how freakin’ complicated this is and abstain momentarily.
Time to do the egg whites. This means time to wash the beaters. Scrub those motherf*ckers ‘til they shine because you know egg whites are picky little things & any ounce of oil & they will not poof the way they are supposed to.
Re-read recipe. It only says to whip four of the whites. What are you supposed to do with the other one? It never said to reserve four whites together and one separately, did it? Didn’t it say 5 eggs, separated and one white for another use???
Re-read recipe. How many eggs did you separate? How many whites are in the purple ramekin? It hits you that you are going to have to go back to the source & look in your compost bowl to see how many egg shells are in there—that is the only way to know The Truth.
Count and re-count the egg shells like twenty times just to be sure. You did six eggs, which means there are five in the purple ramekin which means you have to let only four slurp out into the metal bowl.
Do this. Okay, phew, it worked.
Add the salt.
Re-read recipe.
Whip the whites into a foamy frenzy. Conveniently forget the part about adding the sugar to the whites as you whip them, remembering only once they are holding “soft peaks” and ready to be folded in.
Dump the entire pile of sugar in on top of the whites and sort of mix ‘em in. You probably killed all possibility of loft for your cake, and you don’t care. You have been slaving at this for like 45 minutes now, and you are so over it.
Finally you are ready to mix it all together.
Fold in the egg white/sugar mess 1/3 at a time. The only other time you ever folded egg whites into something was when you were 12 and made a cheese soufflé that never poofed, so you are not holding out any kind of hope by this point.
You are doing your best.
That sip of wine is merited now, so you take a big swig. The end is in sight.
Pile the whole batter-y mess (and it does somewhat resemble cake batter, thankyouverymuchgod) into the greased & floured pan. Lightly drop it on the counter a few times to let out the air bubbles.
Put that mofo in the oven.
Holy Jesus you are done.
Pile the dishes in the sink for tomorrow, and plop your bottom down on the floor cushion to watch Planet Earth with P & B.
The recipe says to cook it for about 45 minutes, but after 25, you smell cake, and think it might be done. After inserting an ice pick in the middle of it (because who the heck keeps toothpicks around?!), you see that it is. Now you are supposed to let it cool for and hour and a half.
Let it cool for 8 minutes, then cut & serve warm with goat milk coffee ice cream.
Die and go to heaven.
*
Wonder in the morning what that extra egg white was for—you never used it. Oh well.
*
Think that next time you are making this recipe, you will add thyme to it (lemon thyme olive oil cake with coffee ice cream sounds SO GOOD to you!) and you will be stone cold sober.
*
Think that next time you make this recipe might be 2011.

Jazz Fairytales

2008-10-14T10:55:00.000-07:00

Kathleen Grace (disclaimer: she's a friend) sings and writes some very pretty music and some very different music. She calls it jazz fairytales. I call it a mix of Tom Waits and dark forests and deep earth and bright sparkly magic. But don't take my word for it! She is about to release a new album, and you can preview all of the tracks here and here. (<---the MySpace doesn't seem to be working as I post this--hopefully it will be soon!)

My personal favorite song right now is her cover of the Randy Newman tune "Let Me Go." I first heard her sing it about a year ago at Jimmy's No. 43 on the lower east side of Manhattan. We were eating toasted walnuts with fennel salt and honey and drinking the best, cheapest cabernet I've ever had (of course I have no idea what it is). The room was packed with people--all friends, and Kathleen & her band took us on a musical journey. There is so much wonderfulness mashed up in this memory that I am seriously getting goosebumps right now thinking about it. It was truly a magical evening.

If you are in New York, you must go to Jimmy's and have the walnuts. And if you are in LA, you must see KG live. She has a CD release coming up next weekend, and it is the perf chance to see her! I'm just sayin'.

xo!

yummy music friday!

2008-10-10T12:00:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I was totally going to embed a pretty lil' music video on here, but, of course, the record label has disabled embedding, so blah. Here's the link to the Jessie Baylin music video I want to share! Her debut release, Firesight, is simply yummy.

She has a voice that's like fireflies in July and lemonade in mason jars and dark, rich soil. Seriously, I want to live in her voice. It's kind of in the same vein as Norah and Sara Gazarek*--with that gravelly thing goin' on. I am kind of counting the days 'til her show here in October. Here's some stuff she recorded for Daytrotter.

xo

hb

*"Northern Lights" is my fave song on Sara's page.

no words today (or very few at least)

2008-10-08T17:14:00.000-07:00

This duck is cooked, so in lieu of words (which are so not even happening for me right now), how about some nice pics & links? IOU and IheartU 4EVER, for sure.

from Fred Flare

Sparkletopia - artsy fartsy blog

and just a few oldies, dusted off from the attic.

new orleans, april 2008

malibu, my birthday (!), august 2007

utah, february 2008

for a good time, look no further than your TV!

2008-10-06T10:00:00.000-07:00

(pic from Earth From Above)

You will almost never hear me say something like the above title...HOWEVER...holy smokes, people. If you have not watched this series yet, I implore you to!

Planet Earth by the BBC is the most mind-blowingly wonderful television I have ever seen in my life! Forget the Hollywood Hills or people trying to be famous singers--let's talk about the planet we live on!! Don't worry--I'm not going to get all "eco" on your a@#, but I am just going to say that the natural beauty of this world, as captured by the intrepid adventurers of the Planet Earth crew, is astounding. Click around the site, and if you have a few bucks to spare, Amazon has the whole series on DVD for $60. This will provide viewing pleasure perhaps interminably. I enjoyed it last night along with some popcorn, and then again this morning with my strawberry, banana & quinoa fruit salad.

(pic from Earth From Above)

Here's another fun project to check out: Earth From Above, by Yann Arthus Bertrand. I got to see this exhibit when it was in London--they had these huge (6'x4'ish) posters mounted on boards and set up on tall easels--all out in some courtyard. There's a book too, and postcards you can buy so you can have a little reminder of Earth magneted to your fridge or sitting on your coffee table.
Enjoy!!

xo

happy monday!

2008-09-29T12:48:00.000-07:00

So, another weekend down the drain, another week in the works. Ahh, the daily grind!

How about a nice cup of coffee and some plum cobbler, courtesy of At Home At Home, to start us off right, followed by some awesome music by this guy? Talk about the best ever accidental find!

Ahem ahem. I am clearing my throat in preparation to try and write about his music (even though some say (me included) that writing about music is like dancing about architecture)). Ethereal, folky, melancholic, beautiful--that's what I got. He is kind of stingy with the myspace songs--only two are up, but you can find more stuff on Daytrotter and probably elsewhere if you're into the internet hunting. I just bought the album, and it has been on repeat non-stop for about a month in my car. It really is that good. Imho, Of Course.

(pic borrowed from Orangette)
Oh, and and and, if you are into cooking (and seriously, you don't even have to be THAT into cooking for this recipe), try these potatoes. They take less than an hour to make (however long it takes you to peel 'em, and then 30 mins to cook). I used regular red potatoes & Yukon Golds because I didn't have fingerlings. Swear to god, I have never had a better potato. This recipe elevates potato to, basically, the heavens. Jasmine & I ate all of them while we were sitting under the stars at the Hollywood Bowl Saturday night. And, I saw a shooting star! Unrelated to the potatoes, except that I was eating them at the time as I gazed at the sky, and it was all part of the momentary feeling of bliss and wonderfulness glowing in my heart.

happy monday!

m m mozza

2008-09-23T12:39:00.000-07:00

In lieu (and in honor) of the Snickers bar that I want to purchase & scarf from the vending machine down the hall (oh afternoon boredom! Go away!), here are a few fun things for ya!

Squash blossom & burrata pizza from Mozza Pizzeria. If you live in Los Angeles and can drop about $40 on food, get yo’self the bone marrow appetizer, followed by the squash blossom & burrata pizza. There are no words for how sublimely ridiculously amazing this food is. All conversation came to a dead halt when this food came out, and did not resume ‘til we were stuffed to the gills! Two words: Go. Now. (You may already know about Mozza because you are so cool, and maybe you've already eaten there. To both possibilities, I say "yeah you! let's go now!")

Twistori
Not food related, but fun for seeing what other people are busy loving/hating/feeling/thinking/believing/wishing. You click on a word & it shows you what tweets are coming through on Twitter.
Personal fave of the day: “I wish I had a pet & some peanut butter….” !!! So cool.

Officially Obsessed

2008-09-19T11:11:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER: This is about neither music, nor food, but definitely about heartbreakingly beautiful art. Read or do not read accordingly.

Okay, I don’t know why I never listened to Christine last year when she told me about this show, but I watched way too many episodes last night of quarterlife, an internet show** from our faves, the creators of My So Called Life. I am officially obsessed. I am telling you so you can watch it, too, and we can be obsessed together. Come over to the dark side with me...mwahahaha...

WARNING: Do not start watching this at ten pm at night when you are planning to go to bed at eleven because you have work tomorrow. You will fail. You will sit in the dark at your computer, eating soy ice cream, saying to yourself, “okay, just one more episode,” and one will turn into ten will turn into twenty-six, and it will be three am before you know it, and your resolve to be on time to work the next day will be shot to hell, again.
Just sayin’.
Watch this when you can spare a few hours (like, maybe, six).

**I know, I know. I was not into the idea of an internet show at first either. But trust me.

p.s. Not that you necessarily care, but I do, so I'm just gonna say that I swear I will post some food pics this weekend. I am always a fan of the lots of pics blogs, and I have been failing at making mine one of those. Will do better. Promise!

does it get any better than this?

2008-09-18T10:25:00.000-07:00

omg!! a music & cooking show!!!!! how serendipitous...!

Make sure to check out WAZ's MySpace for some loverly tunes. My personal fave is "So Far Away." Definitely heartbreakingly beautiful--it's giving me goosebumps right now.

vegetables, schmedgetables

2008-09-16T15:16:00.000-07:00

(pic borrowed from Orangette)

The best cookies ever, no joke. Have made them twice and they do not last three days around the house because I a) take them to work & elsewhere because I b) eat them non-stop for every meal, forgoing all other "healthy"foods. Vegetables, schmedgetables--that is what I say when these babies are hangin' around. As soon as you possibly can, make these cookies. You might be saying the same thing...!

xoxoxo

test test, and welcome, too

2008-09-15T17:13:00.000-07:00

testing, testing, 1, 2, 3....hello hello??

welcome to my blog, where I will cover all manner of new music I discover, delicious food I scarf, and the occasional a) new recording of my own tunes b) poem and/or c) watercolor I abc)record/write/and/or/paint.

Today, I have been "rockin'" (in quotes because it's not the rockinest music ever in the official sense of the word--moreso rockin' because it is so awesomely wonderful) to pal Jamie Drake's music, specifically this song. Love it!

You can expect updates every other day-ish, and I will probably be changin' the look as I get the hang of this. Here's to a new adventure!

p.s. in case you're wondering, I named it Heartbreakingly Beautiful because I am all about the heartbreak & the beauty & mashin' 'em together. Ya know, the savory/sweet, light/dark, yin/yang, etc. Can't take credit for the phrase though--a lovely friend came up with it when describing the music I write.